KiwiJeff Remix

KiwiJeff Audio Remixed

Week 1 Week 2 Week 3 Week 4 Week 5 Week 6 Week 7 Week 8 Week 9 Week 10 Week 11 Week 12 Week 13 Week 14 Week 15

KiwiJeff Articles Remixed

The SpinOff Week 1
Matt Chisholm can count to 100 really fast. A truly astounding feat of numeracy. Low-key though, I wish he had pulled the old One, two, miss a few, ninety nine, a hundred trick.
Chisholm-ism of the week
Everyone is back in the drink now! Every time someone entered the water, Matt announced that they were in the drink. The lake is a drink. I think even the mud is a drink. I think I need a drink.

Week 2
Viewers got an extra special treat during the first reward challenge as Matt climbed out of the drink to reveal a little bit of skin as Matt Chisholm modestly put it
Chisholm-ism of the week
I'll be like swimming in a hot bath. How big is the bath in your house that you can swim in it, Mr. Moneybags?

Week 3
Matt tries to find some cracks or alliances, but still no one is willing to reveal that there is definitely strategic play happening.
JT tells Matt that there’s no central source of strategy in the tribe, and he’s only on the receiving end of these messages.
Something here doesn’t add up, and Matt knows it.
Chisholm-ism of the week
Our very own Kiwi Jeff, Matt had plenty of zingers this week. Best of all was at Tribal Council when he asked JT to “look us in the beadies”. An equally brilliant and horrifying way to ask someone to look at you.

Week 4
Chisholm-ism of the week
Matt has been steering this Survivor ship with such a calm and casual charisma, and I think nothing sums that up better than the way he refers to the immunity idol as “old mate”.

Week 5
Psych! It’s old mate Matt, who has a special delivery: Eve’s estranged idol.
There is a dramatic moment as Matt reads the last vote, when a crescendo in the music hints that maybe one of the Khang Khaw had flipped
Chisholm-ism of the week
“These puzzle pieces are both-sided.” Maybe they are also held together with both-sided tape.

Week 6
Adam didn’t have time to discredit Dylan’s challenge performance this week, as he was busy chasing down Matt for his prize.
Chissy dove straight in with the leading questions this week, basically asking the tribe if they thought the challenge was thrown. Still, the tribe members are keeping their cards close to their chests, and poor Matt just can’t get anyone to share any juicy goss with him.
Chisholm-ism of the week
“Woooo, that was epic!” – Matt lying to viewers after possibly the most boring challenge ever at The Outpost.

Week 7
Technically it works if you solve it sequentially, but you can hardly call that “primary school maths”, Matt.
Matt asks something like “Are you feeling confident tonight?” and someone replies with “you can never feel too safe at tribal” and then Matt says something like “is there a plan going into the vote” and someone will say “we’ll just have to wait and see”.
Chisholm-ism of the week
Definitely worth a nudge” was the deeply confusing way Matt described the mystery prize of this week’s outpost challenge.

Week 8
During tribal, Tara tells Chissy that she was busy doing her rounds today, and having chats with everyone.
Chisholm-ism of the week
“Wanna know what you’re playing for? You’ll have to wait until after the challenge.” I’m starting to get real sick of your games, Chisholm. Just tell us the damn prize! “She’s a beauty” just won’t cut it for me anymore!

Week 9
Matt Chisholm is shook.
Arun is sitting so awkwardly close to Matt and the remaining castaways, which makes it even more awkward that he isn’t allowed to talk during tribal.
Chisholm-ism of the week
“Omega-3 up the wazoo!” – Chissy heralding the nutritional benefits of filling ya boots with tuna.

Week 10
Adam is absolutely beside himself when Matt announces the reward, even getting a little emotional.
Chisholm-ism of the week
“We can all be anything we wanna be when we grow up” – inspirational words from Matt this week.

Week 11
This week’s reward challenge is a chocolate feast, and before the challenge begins, Chissy gives everyone a little piece of chocolate brownie, to whet their appetites.
Chisholm-ism of the week
“Just to show you I’m good for it.” This was a weird thing to say, right? Has Matt got a track record for not delivering on reward promises? You’ve got me feeling suspicious, Chissy.

Week 12
This is not Matt Chisholm’s Best Friend Race
There was a sad moment in Tribal this week, when Tess had absolutely given up, and when asked by Chissy if she wanted to make her case, she just kind of joked that they shouldn’t vote for her.
Chisholm-ism of the week
“How keen are ya to wrap your laughing gear around that lot?”.

Week 13
This is not Matt Chisholm’s Best Friend Race

Week 14
Worst of all, old mate Matt wouldn’t even help Dave out to remove the sting.
With just Dave and Tess left, Matt asked Tara and Lisa who they wanted to win, and Tara’s response was perfectly on brand for her, stating pretty bluntly that she wanted Dave, not Tess to win.
At tribal, Matt asks everyone a bit about how they decide who to vote for with so few people left. Tess is thinking about who she has the best chance against at the final tribal, while Tara still hasn’t grasped the nature of numbers. Matt asked about Tara’s comment at the challenge, that Tess and Dave both deserved to be in the final three. “Does that mean you think either you or Lisa should go home?”
Chisholm-ism of the week
“Another ripper challenge”